I have made a decision this week that will alter the rest of my
mission, and also the rest of my life. I've decided to completely
surrender and give my heart to the Lord. I've been reading this talk
called "The Fourth Missionary" by Elder Lawrence E. Corbridge (Adam
Chevrier sent it to me), and to say the least, it has changed how I
look at things.
He quotes C.S. Lewis when he says, "Give me all. I don't want too much
of your time, so much of your talents and money, and so much of your
work. I want You. All of you . . . Hand it all over to me, the whole
outfit, all of your desires, all of your wants and wishes and dreams.
Turn them all over to me, give yourself to me and I will make of you a
new self in my image. Give me yourself and in exchange I will give you
Myself. My will, shall become your will. My heart, shall become your
"I'm handing him my heart. My fragile, pieced together, mended
heart--I'm giving it to Him. I've said to Him: I give up. I
surrender. I won't fight anymore. Here it is. Here are my desires.
Here is my will. I want only to do what you want me to do. That's
enough for me. That's all I want."
I'm giving Him my heart and my will. It's His to have. I don't want to
keep it from Him anymore, and I don't want to fight Him anymore. He
can have it. I will go, and do, and say what and where He needs me to
go and do and say, nothing less. I am here for Him. This is not my
mission, but His. I am His--all His.
I know this will be a choice and a sacrifice I will have to make every
single day, but I'm ready. I'm ready and willing to do it. It's time.
I've half-heartedly made this decision before, as I went into my
mission...but I'm willing to now do it whole-heartedly.
Honestly, this week was super slow. Appointment after appointment
cancelled, which was really disappointing. It's been a battle to be
disappointed and not become discouraged, but I'm fighting. And despite
all that doesn't go right in missionary life, somehow it is all worth
it. All of it.
Something I've been thinking about a lot this week that I want to
share with you: I know of the sure reality of my Heavenly Father. He
is there and hears every single prayer. Spoken and unspoken. I feel
closer to Him now than I have my entire life. He is so real. And His
unchanging mercy and love are just incredible. I stumble and fall over
and over again, but I never run out of second chances. It must be so
hard for Him to believe me when I say that I'm ready to take His Son's
name and try again, but He believes me. And He helps me every step of
the way. When I feel lost and far from Him, it's as if He says to me,
"It may be dark, but don't worry. I'm right here." And He is
there--constantly. I can't even express how much I adore Him. Or how
much I adore this gospel. It is real, and it is true. I wouldn't give
18 months of my life for it if it weren't. What happened in the Sacred
Grove changed the history of the world, and it forever changed my
life. I know that Jesus Christ lives. I am rescued, saved, redeemed,
and healed by Him. Every day. He is my best friend and I adore Him
more than words can say.
Mom, Dad, Brenden and Cameron, thank you a million times over for your
thoughts and your prayers in my behalf. I firmly believe that I
couldn't do what I'm doing now without them.
You know how happy the gospel and the knowledge of your Savior has
made you--now go share it with others! Don't be afraid to speak up
about the gospel. It deserves to be spread and to be shared.
I hope you have a marvelous week. Remember who you are and that a
sister missionary in PA loves you very much!!! ❤️❤️
Live so that those who know you but don't know Him will want to know
Him because they know you.
"Have faith, have hope, love like His Son. Help others on their way."
All my love,
A lunch date with CUTE Maddy and her Lovely
Mom, Sister Willis. We. Love. Them!
Food Bank Friday & lunch after at T Chipotlewith Sister Crum and her CUTE boys :)
Sister Schofield is 8 months old!! (So, Thai food. ;))